Carmine of Italy had been busy since they'd rescued Dinah. He'd been rather intrigued by the dzong and had determined to keep it. Therefore he'd called in his score of lawyers and kept many of his court busy doing inventories while he and Nicco had explored the place, searching out secret passages and deciding what facilities needed upgrading. He was still trying to decide what use to put it to, as Nicco zapped him home.

The villa was seldom noisy and never upset, well, almost never, except perhaps the few days before Carmine was hosting a Council meeting, but what met the prince's eyes when he materialized in his main entry made him raise an eyebrow and freeze every living and unliving person within eyesight where they were.

"Bouna notte. Per piacere... Would someone be so kind as to inform me with regard to what goes on in my villa? If it is not too much trouble."

Uberto found his tongue first. It is said he's not very bright, being a were-bear. In reality he's quite smart indeed, and knows his prince will, mostly, be reasonable. "It is Briony!  She has only just given birth to two baby dragons!"

Nicco, who'd been standing there quietly, squealed and took off running. Then remembered himself and ran back to Carmine, and grabbed the prince's hand. "Come come! Let's go see!  Baby dragons!!!"

Carmine was a wise prince. Wise enough to know when a prince should demand immediate obedience and wise enough to know when asking for same was a total waste of time.  "Si, Nicco, let us go see Briony, and go commiserate with Malachi. I would guess he is in desperate need of a good brandy or three."

Malachi was indeed in desperate need of something.  Briony had nudged him awake several hours ago with the news that the birth of her twins was imminent.  The trouble was her notion of imminent and his were not at all similar.  So he'd thrown on some clothes and raced down to her lair only to discover her curled comfortably on her side, looking calm and serene.  She gave him a dragon smile and explained she wanted some company while she awaited their appearance.  When he'd asked how long she expected the wait to be, she'd smiled and ignored the question.  And every time there after he'd raised the question of maybe getting some coffee or a piece of toast she'd made a moaning sound and he'd subsided.  Eventually Uberto had come looking for him and left swiftly to spread the word and return with coffee.

Now she was looking beatific, proud and doting all at the same time and Malachi was exhausted.  She was still curled on her side, only now tucked up close to her stomach and wrapped with her tail were her babies, one soot black from head to toe, the other snow white, except for the midnight blue of their jewel faceted eyes.  Malachi heaved a sigh of heartfelt relief and moved closer, to stroke their noses.  He was just about to inquire as to the names she'd chosen when Nicco arrived, towing Prince Carmine.

Briony lifted her nose from her children and gave them the beatific madonna look, full force.  The babies raised huge blue eyes to the two and looked soulful.

On the way to see the babies, Carmine had attempted a discussion with Nicco regarding etiquette around such things. Needless to say, he'd wasted his breath, but as he didn't need to breathe it was probably not that great a loss. Nicco went flying across the floor and landed on his knees skidding into Briony's tail, staring at the babies entranced.

The babies stared back.  Then they both stuck their noses out and began examining him, snuffling his hair and ears and giving him a couple of licks on the face. Finally one nudged him with her nose, trying to turn him over while the other nudged him in a different direction, making Malachi laugh.  Briony just watched indulgently and then lifted her gaze to the Prince, wondering what he was going to do when one of them chose Nicco.

The Prince meanwhile had worried a bit that Briony might be in a possessive state of mind with regard to her new babies so he'd feared a moment with regard to Nicco's safety, but watching Briony he knew he should not have worried. He handed the bottle of brandy to Malachi and produced two glasses along with it. "I should very much like to toast Signorina Briony and her twins. It is buona fortuna to have such beautiful creatures born here in my villa." He bowed to Briony and smiled at her.

Briony inclined her head regally.  "I am delighted you and I agree they are beautiful.  I have been pondering names for some time now.  And I was wondering if you would mind giving me your opinion on the two I have narrowed it down to?"

Malachi looked from her to Carmine and wondered what kind of trouble she was about to cause.  He gulped the brandy his Prince had handed him and braced himself.  The babies were too engrossed in Nicco to pay any attention at all.  Well, at least one of them was.  The other one had gotten her legs under her and was waddling in the direction of the man talking to her mother.  Getting over her mother's tail required some thought, though and that slowed her up somewhat as she sat down to solve the problem.

Carmine, lips twitching, bowed back. "I am humbled you should grant me such an honour, Briony."

"I decided, she said, as her youngest reached a decision on how to get over her tail and tried to stand up again, "that as you and Nicco have been so kind to us that if you wouldn't mind I'd like to name them after you both.  But then I decided that perhaps it would be confusing, so I think a diminutive of your name and Nicco's might be better, if you approve."  She paused to glance at her youngest who had made it over the mountain and was now progressing as fast as she could waddle towards Carmine.  "So I think I would like to call the older one Carmie and the younger Nicki, as they are both girls."  At this point Nicki reached Carmine and sat down on her haunches and looked up at him, staring longingly and wiggling her nose a little as a subtle hint.  Being about five feet long, that meant it wasn't that far to look, especially with the nose pointed up too.

The prince ignored the moan that escaped Malachi and regarded Briony a moment before her baby's arrival demanded his attention. "I am deeply honored by your wish to acknowledge my kindness in such a way. Carmie?" He stared down at the baby in front of him, and kept his thoughts regarding this to himself.

Nicco was laughing delightedly and getting his face given a thorough cleaning by Carmie. Perhaps the dragon had already discovered Nicco would be a constant source of nourishment in the form of gelato.

Nicki, delighted to have the man's attention, gave him a nudge with her nose, thinking perhaps he wasn't familiar with noses that needed attention.  She decided her next hint would have to be more direct if he needed one, as she followed the nudge up with a gentle scratch of her claw on his leg.

Briony kept an eye on her and gave the rest of her attention to Carmine.  "Yes, Carmie.  I considered Carmel or Carmella, but they just don't have the same sound to the ear or roll off the tongue in quite the same way, if you see what I mean."

"Ah," replied the prince thoughtfully. "Does this one require something which she hopes I can obtain for her?" Carmine asked Briony with regard to Nicki.

Briony smiled.  "She would like you to rub her nose.  She won't be able to talk, vocally or mentally for a few weeks.  In fact, for the first few weeks I noticed, with other younglings that I've seen, that they are remarkably similar to puppies, though they do not chew.

Carmine lowered a hand and patted Nicki's nose a bit awkwardly. "Ciao, little one. I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Il mio nome e' Carmine. Benvenuto a Fiesole."

Nicki gurgled and snorted and tried to lick his hand.  She got a small taste and decided she liked it and went for another, taking advantage of the motion to stick her nose against his hand when she was finished.  She squirmed a little with pleasure as he patted her again.  He was learning.  When he went to draw his hand back Nicki made a mournful sound and lifted herself up a bit to follow the hand.

"She likes you," Briony observed.  Then she cast a glance at Carmie and Nicco, rolling around together on the floor.  It might be wise to drop a hint in his ear.  "And Carmie seems very taken with Nicco.  Very taken indeed."

Malachi heard that and groaned.

Carmine was unclear how long he was expected to pet it, but he stopped attempting to draw his hand back and kept it at Nicki's head, but turned his attention to Malachi. "Caro, you are unwell?  I prescribe the brandy. It is a very good brandy."

"I really like Carmie, too," Nicco said to Briony, grinning up at her, as he and Carmie, locked in a deathgrip on each other rolled around on the floor, trying to see who could stay on top.  Nicco, a bit outclassed in the weight department didn't even mind he was mostly losing.

Malachi availed himself of the brandy and reassured his prince as to the state of his health.  Nicki, meanwhile, had decided that if he wasn't going to move his hand on her nose there was no reason she couldn't move her nose on his hand and obtain the same effect.

Briony watched them and smiled a dragon smile.  "Well," she said to Carmine and Malachi, "it's all going so well, don't you think?"  Malachi nodded dumbly and stared trouble in the face.

"Caro Malachi," Carmine said, finally getting the hang of the petting thing, "you should rejoice rather than look so down hearted. Now I must see to many things this night, having been away. I beg your pardon, Briony, for having missed the actual birth. Should you or your children need anything, please to not hesitate to ask. Nor should you hesitate to smack Nicco on his rump and send him to his room should he become a pest."

Malachi found a smile and nodded.  Briony beamed upon him and her offspring.  "Si," she said to him.  "We shall do very well and I for one am delighted that you are back."

Nicki quivered in ecstasy under the hand and made sounds of rapture.  She'd known he could do it.

Carmine leaned down to look Nicki in the eye. "Bouna notte, little one. Perhaps I will see you tomorrow night. Nicco, come." With that Carmine bowed to Briony and then to Malachi and began walking away. Nicco looked heartbroken but after hesitating finally followed, with much looking backwards at Carmie, his feet dragging.

Nicki watched for a moment and then followed after Carmine.  Briony, watching, retrieved Carmie and smiled to herself.

Carmine, reaching the stairway up to the villa, hadn't noticed. Or perhaps he had and thought it wise to ignore it. With a hand on Nicco's slumped shoulders the two climbed the stairs and were gone.

Nicki reached the bottom of the stairs and stymied, looked upward.  Not knowing what else to do she sat on her haunches and started howling for them to stop, to come back and get her, or at least to wait until she figured out the stairs.

Briony made clucking noises and Malachi almost dropped his brandy.

Carmine stopped and turned to regard Nicki who seeing that did her best to wag her tail at him. She put a claw on the first stair and tried to figure out what to do next.  While she thought about it she turned pleading blue eyes on Carmine, her howls changed to pitiful whimpers of appeal.

"Malachi?" the prince asked, hoping for enlightenment about just what was going on.

"She, uhm, likes you," Malachi said.  "She wants to ah, go with you."

"Yes, caro, I see that. How do I convince her to remain here?"

Malachi wanted desperately to be somewhere else.  He wished he had the courage to just flee.  "Uhm, well, I'm not ah, exactly sure," he said, looking at Briony and demanding mentally that she do something.

Briony gave the dragon equivalent of a shrug and called her child to come to her.  Nicki turned from Carmine, her face woebegone and looked at her mother.  Then she looked back at Carmine and dared one last heartfelt appeal; eyes, face, posture and vocal cords all cooperating effortlessly.  Surely he couldn't refuse her.  He'd learned to rub her nose so quickly.

Carmine groaned a moment then walked back down the stairs to her. He rubbed her nose and walked her over to her mother. "Caro, you must stay here. Do you understand?  Capice?" He was giving her his princely eye.

Nicki wriggled with delight.  She hadn't been wrong about him, he just needed to learn.

Briony laid a restraining claw on Nicki and smiled at Carmine.  "She likes you a lot."

"She is a beautiful creature and I like her very much, but I must see to my business, va bene? I will visit her tomorrow night. You have my word as prince."

Briony nodded and kept her claw on Nicki.  "You are most kind and truly she is too young yet.  I shall keep her here while you leave."

"Mille grazie, Briony. Keep them both safe."

"Si. Bouna notte," Briony said and kept a firm grip on Nicki.

This time Carmine made it up the stairs and away.

Malachi looked at Briony and sat down, his head in his hands and wondered what he was going to do now.  Briony, settling in to feed the twins, clucked at him and told him tartly he worried too much.  She had it all under control.

There'd been a lot of sex and a lot of sleep. Marc hadn't realized how low his energy levels had become until the tension and fear about Dinah had finally begun to ease.  Most of her nightmares seemed to have stopped, at least they weren't leaking through the bond they shared and so he could rest and recuperate.  She was looking a lot better too, and was sleeping soundly.

This morning he thought he'd check in at the office and leave her asleep.  He kissed her forehead and hit the shower, dressed, and zapped out of the house without going downstairs.

He'd been avoiding a lot of people, friends, mainly because he kept seeing concern there.  He zapped into Reno's outer office. His minion looked up and smiled at him. Good old Reno, he didn't go all soft-eyed on him.

"Mornin' boss, nice of you to drop by. There's a stack of stuff for you to sign. And Lantana wants to see you guys about the babies and stuff. When you guys get a chance. I didn't gather that she was in a real hurry about it."

"Good.  Would you get me a triple shot latte?"

Reno nodded, always happy to have an excuse to put off desk work.

An hour or so later, Marc had handled what he couldn't put off and finished off his latte. He stood and looked out at a clear blue sky, and brilliant white ground from a recent snowfall. His eyes wandered toward the Infirmary.

He wanted to see the children. He'd been there several times, but he was a bit worried about what Dinah might think of it. Would she think he was heaping more pressure on her to stay with them?  She was still fragile in that part of their life so he'd avoided the issue and not brought it up. Still.. He'd gone to see them and she hadn't asked, so why not.

He waved bye to Reno and walked down the pathway cleared between the house and the Infirmary. The teams were humming, the Refuge was calm, nothing was out of order or place, no worries at the moment, dragons played overhead in the cool clear sky.

He walked into the Infirmary and made his way to where they were keeping the twins. As expected Christopher was there too.  They'd given up keeping him at home since he had a mind to be here whenever he could, so they'd set up a cot for him to sleep on and he had some of his favorite toys here too now. When Marc walked in Christopher was sitting on his cot staring intently at the incubators.

"Morning, Chris," Marc said. "Everything okay?"

Christopher nodded. "All kay."

Marc walked up to the incubator and opened it.  Neil sound asleep, looking peaceful and content was closest.  Marc put a pinky down to him and Neil's fist latched onto it, even if he didn't wake up.  Marc sent his mind questing toward Neil and felt the flutterings of his baby's sleeping mind. Christopher was clapping his hands, as his mind latched on too.

"Shhh," Marc said to Chris. "Don't wake him."

Christopher nodded.

With his one hand still captured by Neil, Marc used his other hand to brush Brenna's cheek. She was awake and giggled or maybe just bubbled at him. He smiled down at her and offered her a pinky too. He gently added her consciousness to the net with himself, Neil and Christopher.

A noise behind him made him turn. He was still grinning, from showing Brenna silly pictures in her mind.

Dinah stood still in the doorway watching him, a smile playing around her mouth.  "Is this a private party or can anyone crash it?"

"It is a private party, but you belong in it.  So by all means, join in."  When she got close enough he bent down to kiss her lips. "Sorry, my hands are in use."

"So I see.  Smart babies, holding on to you."  She smiled at Christopher and then leaned down towards the babies.  "You can pick them up you know."

"Tell you what, you pick up one, and I'll pick up the other."

Dinah bent down and picked up Neil handling him like she knew what she was doing, careful to not wake him, smiling at him as she settled him in the crook of her arm.  "Jolie says they need to gain a pound or two more and then they can go home.  So we need to start feeding them a lot more or something."

Marc laughed at that as he picked up Brenna.  She was trying to smile. "Is that a smile or can't they do that yet? I swear that's a mind smile, anyway. Chris will be happy when they're at home where his eagle eye can watch them."

"It's gas, dear.  But who cares," she said.  "Do we have any idea what goes on between Christopher and them?  And what's he doing about Doni's two and Drianna if he's here all the time."

"So far as I can tell he's still a bit worried they'll disappear on him again.  He's more comfortable about the others.  He was pretty miserable while you and they were gone."

Dinah settled in one of the rocking chairs and moved it back and forth gently with her foot.  "So were they," she said.  "Miserable I mean."

Marc leaned against the shelf behind him rocking Brenna a little, looking down at her as he did so. "They knew their mom was hurting and afraid. So I should imagine they were. Now, though, you'd never know a troubled thought had ever passed their minds. Kids are amazing."

"I suppose they need to be, but it's certainly reassuring."  She shifted Neil a bit and reached for a diaper to wipe his mouth with.  "I was wondering," she said after a while, "if you could do me a favor?"

"Sure. Name it."

She looked up at him.  "Show me how to make it so no one can ever get in my mind again if I don't want them there.  Can you do that?  Can it be done?"

He met her eyes for a moment. "I can show you how to set up shields to protect yourself, yes. But a really powerful operant could probably blow through them if he wanted to badly enough, and didn't care how badly he'd burn your brain while he was doing it.  Someone like your father wouldn't be able to. He wasn't that talented. He was just delusional."

"That would be enough," she said.  "If it ever happens somebody wants in again and wants it that badly...to do something like that..."  She shook her head.  "I don't know, I'd probably try to kill them first or me if that didn't work."

He nodded.  "Good plan. In the milieu... elsewhere, anyway, some particularly talented people were given a program. It was a self-destruct program, and was triggered by autonomic rather than volitional mental commands. If someone tried to take over their minds, they'd self-destruct rather than let someone else control them. But they were also sworn to non-violence. It was their only defense, you see. And the fact it was well known and understood stopped most attempts to coerce them into anything. I could set that up too, if you felt..."

"And would that also help you and your worries about coercing me?" she asked bluntly.

"Yes. But the bond can't be entirely turned off. We'll still know the other is okay, or not okay."

"Entirely turned off?  Are you saying it can be turned off?" she asked.  "I thought you said it was permanent?"

"No, I said it can't. But you can shut down the more private parts, block me out of your thoughts, or where you were. I could probably figure out where you were if I wanted to badly enough, or thought... Much like Stephen found Doni when the bond reasserted itself."

"Or thought?"

"Or thought someone had taken you and you were in trouble."

She nodded, her eyes on Neil.  "Is that what you want?  To shut it down like that?"

"No, I don't. But after what I saw Angus do to you as a child, I thought you might want to know how to do that."

"Oh."  She glanced up at him.  "I see.  And how would this self destruct thing impact the bond?"

"It shouldn't.  For most people who had it, it is just a reassurance that no one could control them against their will. Most of those same folks were bonded. There were some bondmates who had suicide pacts but officially it was frowned upon."

She looked up at him swiftly at that.  "If you die on me I swear I'll hunt you down and make you rue the day!" she said.

His lips twitched. "I'll keep that in mind."

"So you don't have a problem with doing this?"

"With helping to give you a feeling of safety? Certainly not, so long as it is what you want.  Is it what you want?"

"It's just that I know, I think, how hard it was for you, not knowing where I was and I don't want to put you through that again," she said finally.

"Uhm, what I went through was nothing compared to what you must have gone through. So let's get back to the question of what it is you want."

She looked up at him, biting her lip.  "I can't stand the thought of someone being in my head again like he was in Bhutan and knowing that no matter what I did I couldn't keep him out.   But I can't stand the thought of not having you there like it was then, too."

"Okay," he replied, meeting her eyes. "Makes perfect sense to me. But you might, at some point, want me to butt the hell out of your emotions and your business. I wanted to give you that option, or at least show you how to do it."

"Well, does it mean I'm in your head that way, too?"

"I've got some stuff walled off from you. Old stuff. Long gone. Stuff that I'd rather you not see. Stephen thinks I shouldn't. But then he lives with rose colored glasses."

"No, that's not what I meant.  I meant is that what you wanted, or is it an...uhm...well, an intrusion?"

"Is that how you look at it?  An intrusion?" he countered.

She stared at the baby she held for while. Then finally, haltingly she said,  "For me?  No, not at all.  I...having you there...it's, I don't know, it makes things make sense somehow.  But that doesn't mean it works that way for you or that it's not a burden somehow, just because I'm so...I don't know, greedy for you or needy or something or that it's not more than you want."

"Dinah," he replied. "I need you there too. Especially after Bhutan. Not knowing if you.. What you were going through. How to get to you..."

Her eyes flew to his face.   "You do?  I mean more than just knowing I'm okay?  Then you don't mind...it's not just you doing it for me?"

He stared at her for a second, grinned, then said, "Jack ass."

She grinned back, "Then it's contagious."

"Apparently. Look, I could have told you I wanted the bond dead. I didn't. I went pretty much crazy while you were gone. I need you. I love you."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I know why you're doing things.  I mean I know but I don't know and I don't want you to think...that just because I'm kind of crazy these days...you have to do things you don't want to."

"All right. I see your point. So, I'll make a deal with you. If there's something you want me to do that I don't want to do, I'll tell you. And if there is something I want you to do that you don't want to you call me 'jack ass' and punch me out. Deal?"

"Deal," she said.  "Though I really hate hitting you."

"Well, I'm told my jaw gets tight too often so I look on it as therapy."

"Yeah, well..."  She shifted Neil to her other arm and looked at him, standing there holding their daughter, his eyes laughing at her and she grinned back.

"So, uhm, you wanna trade?  That way I make you change the diaper."

She laughed and took Brenna and handed him Neil.  "And here I thought you were doing the father thing so well, too," she said as she started changing the baby.  "You dropping in to see them and all."

"I am. The guy always hands off to the gal for the hard bits."  He watched her for awhile and when she was done, he asked, "How are you?"

She settled back with Brenna holding a bottle for her and thought it over.   "A lot better, I think.  I don't know if I'm glad I know what happened that day or not, but I guess knowing's better now, like it was time.  And, it makes the way he was, the things he said...well not make sense, but sensible in the context."

"I was so proud of you, watching you there. That even that young you were you... "

She laughed.  "Screaming and crying, that's me, and never doing what I'm told."

"Stop it," he said seriously. "Stop devaluing what you did there. You were brave and you stood up to him. And you did it again in Bhutan."

"Yeah, that was great," she said shaking her head.  "My mouth working overtime and him punching me because I just can't keep it shut.  Like telling him what a loser he was got me anywhere except bloodier.  And if I'd've cooperated then he might not have killed her."

He went still. "Killed her? Your mother?"

She nodded and lifted Brenna to her shoulder to burp her.  "Yeah, if it hadn't worked and she hadn't killed herself.  I don't know if she would have or not."

"Do not go there," he said. She could feel his emotions though their link. "Do not do that to yourself any more. Their relationship was theirs, not yours. He's responsible, not you, and no matter what you did, he'd have treated her as he did.  It would have started before you were born, so why should it suddenly be you responsible for it."

She patted Brenna's back gently and considered him  "I don't think I'm responsible for it, I was four years old and terrified.  I'm speculating based on what I know now.  But I do think that it might be time to rethink how I handle some things like people wanting me to do things I don't have any intention of doing or learning to fight smarter when I need to."

He relaxed a bit and began feeding Neil. "That I can live with."

"The short term gain of defying him really didn't out weight the risk of what he might do the the kids.  Tell me, did you find his genetic samples?"

He nodded, keeping his eyes on Neil who was slurping away merrily.  "Yeah. I figured they should devolve to the House."

"He knew my DNA wasn't what I'd started out with, as it were."  She cooed at Brenna for burping.  "Anyway, he's dead, thank god."

"Yes, he's dead." Marc voice was quiet.  "And you're healing. And we've got a House, two hellspawn, and a bunch of decisions to make. Oh, speaking of which Lantana wants to see us to register the spawn as part of the House. I thought I'd surprise her about the name changes."

She ignored his last.  "Yeah, we can do it whenever you want.  So what decisions?" she asked.

"Like do we want to travel?  I've been a bit worried you'd regret leaving Brenna and Neil behind."

She got up and put the now sleeping Brenna back in the incubator.  Then she went back and sat down, watching him feed Neil. "Not in the way you mean.  What I regret is what might have been and that's pretty futile, I know, but it's how I feel."

"I regret a great many things. Yeah, it's futile, but it's pretty much standard fare for our species. What is it you regret, if you don't mind telling me?"

"That one day over which I had no control has never stopped impacting everything that's come after.  And that because of it I'm not the sort of person that can give my children what I want them to have, what I think they actually need because to do that I'd have to make myself crazy being the person I'm not."

"Well, then maybe you should just learn to love the person you are rather than feeling bad about the person you're not? I love the person you are. I rather doubt I'd love the person you seem to wish you were."

Dinah smiled at him.  "But you get all this angst this way, and me always needing you to sort it out.  Surely that's worth something.  And," she added, "if it's any consolation, I don't think I'm indestructible anymore."

Neil had stopped eating, through the simple expedient of falling asleep while doing it. Marc slung him up to his shoulder to burp him.

"It's a start. Now if you can just figure out how to convince me I'm not, let me know.'

"Well, my advice is get kidnapped by a lunatic while you're preggers with twins and have toxemia.  Then spend the whole time until you're rescued by a group of people taking fearsome risks on your behalf, busting the lunatic's chops until he's mad enough to start beating you up, just so he won't know you're terrified.   Then when he starts poking around in your head and it feels worse than being raped must, try poking around in his and see what happens."

"You poked around in his head?" he asked, obviously impressed.

"Trust me, it's not something you want to experience.  He didn't much like it either."

He put Neil down into the incubator and closed it up, watching the twins lying there asleep.

Then Marc held a hand out to help her up. He pulled her up into his arms. "Ready to go home, Dinah Siolastre?"

"Ready to take me back to bed, Marc Siolastre?"

"Sounds like a plan."

Dinah smiled up at him.  "So when do we go spaceship shopping?"

"Tomorrow."

"Then that leaves us lots of time in bed."

 

Laz closed up his beach house and headed back to the Refuge the quick way.  Anja, with Snow, was taking a bit slower path. She needed time to think, so it worked out well.

Snow was really happy to hear he was about to meet a lot of new dragons. Although he wouldn't give up Anja for anything, he had missed playing and soaring with his kind, so he was eager to check this new home out.  If Anja had thought she'd have time to think on this trip she quickly learned the error of her ways. Although Snow could not speak aloud, he was getting better at connecting to her brain and therefore, after being unable to communicate for so long was full of questions, many of which she really didn't want to think about never mind answer.

Oh questions about how many dragons were at the Refuge (answer, no idea at the moment), or how many people were there (answer, ditto), were okay, it was the ones about, "So, Laszlo makes you happy? Why?" Those questions had her scrambling for distractions to get him off that particular line of thought.  The questions about human sex were easier!

It was late afternoon when they sailed into the Refuge, all the dragons going on immediate alert a sensing a new dragon approaching. Dragons flooded out of their caer and into the sky flying out to meet him.

Snow suddenly remembered he was shy and it was left to Anja to introduce him. Kalie immediately took him under her wing, so to speak, and relieved Anja's mind considerably.  But then there was another chore she had to face which was rather harder.   Since Quinn had been one of the dragons to rush out to meet her and Snow, Anja asked him where Dinah was. He reported she was currently curled in front of the fire in the aerie. And, he added helpfully, he'd told Dinah Anja was back and wanted to see her.

Anja stifled the groan she desperately wanted to let out, made sure one last time that Snow would be all right and then zapped herself up to the front door of the Aerie and knocked.

She straightened her tunic, but there wasn't a lot she could do with the rest. Her hair was still shorn, and would take some time to be long enough for a decent warrior braid, so she'd had to settle for only a few feathers and gems in her pixieish hairdo.

Dinah herself opened the door.  "Hi," she said, a welcoming smile on her face.  "Come on in out of the cold."

"Thank you," Anja replied and followed as Dinah led her into the living room of the aerie, a cheerful fire creating a comfortable and pleasant setting.

"You are looking well," Anja began.

"Thanks," she said, gesturing Anja to a seat.  "And thank you for everything you did.  I didn't get a chance to talk to you afterwards.  I'm sorry about that.  Can I get you something?  Coffee?"

"No, thank you. I am fine." Anja sat on the edge of the seat, and couldn't find a word more to say.

Dinah watched her for a while and then smiled.  "Want a book?"

"I'm sorry?  I.. I came to apologize for my failure to protect you."

"I asked if you wanted something to read. I guess not." She tilted her head at Anja.  "Failure?"

"I was not with you when you needed me the most," Anja replied, more calmly now, falling back into her center.

"Well no, but that was my choice not yours, so I'm not sure I understand."

"I only know," Anja replied, "that I feel responsible."

Dinah studied her.  "Anja, I can't stop you from feeling responsible even though I think that it's misplaced."

"Yes, I know. Thank you," Anja stood. "Thank you for seeing me."

"Sit down." Dinah said firmly.

Anja eyed her but sat.

"It's not my business of course," Dinah told her frankly, " because you quit, but for what its worth I think you choosing to feel responsible is actually pride but I haven't got a clue why.  Though I think it might be that you're picking guilt because you're afraid of feeling anything else."

Anja gave what Dinah had said some serious thought.  "Yes, it probably is pride. I believed myself to be many things and I seem to be none of them. But, please, do not concern yourself, because as you say I no longer work for you. But please know I have much respect for what you survived."

"I didn't say you no longer work for me.  I said you quit."  Dinah paused and let that sink in for a moment.  "But what bothers me is you say that like I'd order a burger down at fast food place.  Understanding what you aren't is the first part of figuring out what you are.   And saying you failed is, I think anyway, always easier than saying it was something you couldn't control."

Again Anja considered this, and finally nodded. "Yes. Perhaps. I understand how it feels to not be in control. When one must do things one hates with no choice in the matter."

"Anja," Dinah said softly, "what is it?"

"Someone suggested I should speak with you, that you would not feel I had failed you. I promised I would speak of it to you."

"But you didn't want to?  Who told you to speak to me?"

"I felt you would be better served with a new bodyguard."

"I see. But that was never yours to decide, was it?" Dinah asked calmly.

"It was my decision to resign," Anja replied, "but no, I should not tell you how you wish to be served."

"I haven't accepted your resignation.   In fact I'm rejecting it since it seems to me that if you really feel you failed then you must be prepared to make amends for that."

Anja nodded. "Yes, I would like to make amends. How may I do so?"

"Show up for work tomorrow."

Anja opened her mouth and closed it. She looked down at her hands. "You can trust me?"

"No, it's just that I'm into torturing people whenever I can," Dinah said and then sighed.  "Yes, I trust you.  I can't think of any reason not to."

"Where shall I report in the morning?"

"My office.  You can start sorting through all the paper on my desk."

"Yes, ma'am," she replied and stood. "Until tomorrow then."

"One more thing Anja or maybe two.  Who sent you to me?"

Anja blushed. Then said, "Laszlo."

Dinah ignored the blush.  "And what it is it that has caused all this determined lack of emotion?"

"I find it difficult to speak of recent events. I do not wish to upset you."

"I'm already upset and since by recent events you mean me being kidnapped I'm thinking that I've got a right to know," Dinah said quietly.

Anja nodded miserably.  "Yes.  It is just that... when we first began searching for some hint of where you might be things became difficult. And sometimes you have to do things to survive."

"Yes, I'm familiar with doing things to survive.  What happened?"

"I pretended to be a prostitute selling myself," Anja whispered. "Please do not ask more."

"No, I don't think I will.  But I also think that it is I who should be making amends to you and not the other way around," Dinah said gently.

Anja finally met Dinah's eyes. "No, please do not think that. I did it as it was necessary. It was not much compared to the dangers Jolie and Betty Jo accepted."

"Danger's never a relative thing, when it's the danger of dying.  It's a lot like being preggers.  We, each of us, you, me, Jolie, Betty Jo, we're the founding members in the I put it on the line club...you and them for a friend, and me for...well for something else.  And somebody once said that giving your life for someone...there's no greater love, and I think that pretty much applies to being willing to, too."

"Yes, perhaps that is so," Anja agreed.

Laz had let Trevor know he was back and told Paul they were open for business again.  Then he'd gotten caught up on all the work that had piled up in his absence.  It had taken the better part of the day.  He put the last of the signed checks on Paul's desk and realized he was starving.  He had no idea what Anja was doing or what she had planned, if anything for the evening.  He knew he didn't want to just go back to his apartment and fix food there so he decided to go get something in the cafeteria and then see if he could find Anja.  It was plan, he thought, even if it was skimpy.

He loaded his tray with the special of the day that looked a lot like pork chops and broiled apples and smelled that way too and found a table where he could sit with his back to the wall.  He got the tray unloaded and dug a paperback out of his back pocket and settled in for a leisurely, lonely meal.

"Hey," said a voice from behind him. "Paul gave you the OK to return to work? Last I heard you were grumpier than a .. how DID Daisy put it?  Oh, 'treed possum in a hurricane' was the expression or something like that."

Laz grinned.  "She sure does have a colorful way of putting things, doesn't she?  So how's it going?"

"Well, better finally. So, know anybody who might like to go on a protracted trip?" Marc asked as he slipped into a seat opposite Laz. "We'll need some sort of security, I'm thinking."

"Where you going?" Laz asked, putting his book aside.  "And when?"

"Not sure yet when we'll be leaving. We're going spaceship shopping tomorrow. It's been awhile since I had to think about equipping a ship."

Laz just stared at him.  "You serious?"

Marc sipped his latte. "Yeah. Perfectly. We thought we'd get a better idea of the unimensional worlds not to mention visit the Rim and other places we've only heard of."

"Who's going with you?  Just Dinah and the kids?"

"Kids are staying here. So far it's me and Dinah. We're taking applications though."

Laz nodded.  "I'd like to apply, I think."

"Really?  Why 'I think'?"

"Well, there's a lot of detail you haven't shared.  And the I think is pending the sharing of same and as well as who else is tagging along," Laz said, pushing his plate away.  "Still you and Dinah asked me to be head of off world security for the House and this seems to be within that scope of work, so..."

"Which is why you're practically the first person to hear of it. As to details, well, I don't have a lot of them worked out yet. But I'll need you to put together a security team for us.  We'll be taking the dragons so the ship has to be big enough to accommodate several of them, at least. Given that I'm thinking there should be a lot of room for the right folks."

"How big a security force are you thinking?" Laz asked.  "Or is that up to me?  And I'm assuming you want to be able to veto anyone with or without cause."

"Yeah on the veto. Not that I think you'd pick someone I'd question, but, well, we are going into space and there are some other reasons that might come into play given that. The only limit I see on you choosing the size of the security team, would be due to the ship size.  So six or so might be good, 20 or so might be out of the question."

"Okay, I'll see what I can find for you.  And I was serious, I'd like to go."

"And what, shut down your business, Laz?  Big step there."

"Well, the way I figure it, I've been running it for a while now.  But I've never had a chance to explore the universe and from that perspective where's the choice?""

"Good point," Marc agreed. "But, uhm, there is one candid question I need to ask."

"Sure, man," Laz said, grinning.  "Go ahead, though I bet I can guess."

"Yeah, I bet you can. But just for me, I'll ask it anyway. Because if you're still hung up on Dinah, I don't see where you going along would be good for you."

Laszlo studied his glass of water for a while before he answered.  Then he looked Marc in the eye and said, "I'm not."

"Okay. Welcome aboard. I'm expecting to get a shitload of interest in this pretty soon. I'll uhm direct inquiries to my Chief of Security."

"You're telling me I'm picking who goes or at least making the first cut?"

"Well, we might have a couple of special requests we'll want approved but sure, why not."

"Who do you want to go, that you know of?" Laz asked.

"Reno and Melly if they're interested, Kalket and Morrigan.  I think Dinah might want Anja to go. Not sure who else at this point."

"Okay, well I'm thinking if I'm shutting down the business Paul and Natha would jump at the chance to go."

"So that gives you two additional security types. And god knows Kal is always ready to go Conan on someone's ass. And Anja as a back up too."

Laz nodded.  "I think for the rest we might want to start looking at folks with a range of skills, not just a black belt and and a side arm, including some specific types of skills."

"Well, true. We need a good mechanic type who likes to play with tech and make it sing, and a science geek, and somebody who'd be willing to do supply and all the boring stuff, but we could share some of that, although I will not eat Kalket's cooking."

"Kalket can handle the medical end, and Paul, Natha and I have a fair amount of experience with wounds, but someone to back him up would be useful.  We also need, if we can find one and two would be better, someone who's familiar with the wilder places we want to visit.  Someone who's been there and done that and had a hell of good time along the way."

"We need to talk to Azael."

"Why's that?" Laz asked.

"Well, Az has a spaceship and can give us hints on what to look for in a ship. And he might have an idea or two for crew."

"That would be good.  So what are you planning on doing?  Just sticking a note on the bulletin board saying heading for space, please apply..."  Laz grinned as he said it.

"Sounds like a plan to me," Marc replied laughing.

"Yeah well direct the stampede to your office, not mine.  I think we might want to see what we can come up by way of preferred applicants and issue invitations.  And only after that stick up the sign."

Marc laughed. "Well, you handle it then. You want along to pick out the ship and talk to Azael? You might have to shut down your business pretty quick if you do. I'm thinking it's gonna be a full time job for awhile."

"I shut it down when Paul kicked me out.   Or at least stopped taking new jobs.  I'll talk to Baz about the intel contracts and the rest I can just tell I'm not accepting new jobs."  Laz looked at Marc and then asked, "If you don't mind saying, why did you and Dinah decide to do this?"

"Well," Marc got serious.  "I think it started out her wanting to just run away. But after we talked about it, and she began to heal, I thought, you know, it's a great idea. the Trading Houses aren't the only game in town.  And I'd like to know what else is out there in the unimensional worlds. The Rim is pretty wild, I hear. Who knows what kind of trouble we can find."

"And," Marc added, "I've got one serious question for you, if you don't mind saying."  At Laz's look Marc asked, "Is there something we need to bring along to make sure you don't start acting like that possum up a tree in a hurricane?'

Laz grinned.  "Already on the list."