Dia looked around at the bags and boxes at her feet.  Two suitcases and the rest books.  Grimoires, symbology references, and texts on ancient cuneiform and glyph based written languages.  Plus two cats, sitting at her feet, cleaning their faces.  She shook her head over Cele.  She had no idea why he was here and not in the Garden with Elihu and her mother.  Nor did she think he'd tell her if she asked.  "Well," she said to Betty Jo and Ian, I think that's everything."  She smiled and tilted her head.  "I'm going to miss you both, you know."

"Oh, you never know. Marc and Dinah and a slew of others seem to pop back here quite often. And we might get venturesome and even visit the Rim," Ian replied. "I think you'll find it... fascinating."

Her smile grew.  "I feel like I'm about to step into the pages of a novel.  Traveling the universe in a living, sentient ship with dragons."

"What could be more fun," Ian suggested. "Far more exciting than old London and the boring and staid BM."

"We'll miss you too, honey," Betty Jo said.  "And no matter what happens you're welcome here anytime.  Just ring the bell."

Ian looked at Betty Jo a bit blankly. "Ring the bell?"

"Metaphorically speaking," Betty Jo said.  "Meaning don't worry, just show up."

"It must be an Americanism," Ian said. "Really, without or without bell, book or candle, do come to visit, or even stay, if you like."

"She's talking about ringing the door bell," Dia explained as Edwards answered its deep, bass tones.

Anja and Laz returned with Edwards.  Anja looked at the pile of luggage. "Traveling light?" she asked, smiling.

Dia blushed.  "Books, for the research Marc asked me to do," she said.  "Is it too much?  I can leave it?"

Anja laughed. "No, it is actually less than I expected. But I was under the impression it was just one cat. Laz, would you like to just zap to the ship now and I'll bring the additional menagarie?"

Laz glared at the cats.  "I'll take the luggage," he said.  "And then I'll stock up on antihistamines."

Dia shook her head.  "I put a spell on them," she said.  "Hopefully they won't bother you now."

Anja touched the side of her head. "It's mental. He reacts the same way to cold." 

Laz turned his glare on her.  "It is not," he said.  "Sneezing, dripping congested noses and running eyes aren't mental."

"Take the luggage, I'll help Dia with the cats," Anja replied, lips twitching.

Dia laid a hand on his arm.  "I know it's not," she said.  "I'm allergic to ragweed.  So just let me know if they're bothering you."

He nodded and zapped out with luggage, ignoring Anja.  Betty Jo dissolved onto the sofa.  "Oh the poor man.  No sympathy from the one he loves.  Anja, shame on you."

"I'm sorry," Anja said laughing, "but he was supposedly congested the moment he saw Emir who isn't a cat at all. He all but ran out of the room."

"Well maybe he didn't know he wasn't a cat," Dia said, "and was leaving before he got congested."

"Possibly," Anja conceded, grinning. "Have you said your farewells?  Hello, kitty," Anja said as Cele began weaving around her legs.

Dia nodded and hugged Betty Jo.  "Thank you for everything," she whispered and then hugged her again.

"Have fun, honey.  And I'm here if you need anything"

"I know," she said and then she kissed Ian's cheek.  "Thank you for putting up with me and all the trouble I brought."

"You're Betty's family. I'm just glad we were able to help you. Now go find some fun and happiness," Ian added, smiling into her eyes.

She nodded and then she and Anja and the cats winked out and reappeared in a cabin on Aaru where Dinah was making the bed.

Dinah looked up and smiled as she moved a puppy helping with the sheets off the bed.  "Laz was here with the awful news that you brought two cats," she said, just as the puppy saw them and went over to investigate.  For a moment two felines and a supremely trusting canine eyed each other.  Then the puppy gave a play bow and a happy bark, an unmistakable invitation to have some fun and both cats stuck their noses in the air.  Salem hopped on top of the chest of drawers and Cele went out the open door and turned right, clearly bent on exploration.  The puppy sat down, turning puzzled, forlorn eyes towards Dinah.  "I know sweetheart.  But you can't win 'em all."  She looked at Dia.  "This is Milly.  She's nine weeks old and an Old English Mastiff.  Remember her this day because in not many more she'll be huge."

Marc knocked on the room's door. "Hello, Dia. Glad to have you and the... there's only one cat. Laz was bitching about two."

"The other went exploring," Dinah said.

"This one's Salem.  The other is Cele.  Now that they know how to get here, they'll come and go as they want."  She looked at Marc and Dinah.  "Literally.  They're magical."

"As opposed to those of us who are merely talented. Got it. Milly, leave my shoe alone. I must love her," he added to Dia. "Look what I have to put up with."  Milly was gnawing happily away on Marc's foot. "Anyway, when you're settled in come down to the common area and I'll introduce you to the crew you haven't met yet. Aaru, say hello," he added looking up at the ceiling.

'Hello Dia. Welcome," A female voice said.

Dia looked around.  "Hullo Aaru.  I'm delighted to meet you...to be here," she said.  "I hope it won't be any trouble, me or the cats."

"No trouble," the ship replied.

"She's rather short on commentary for most of us. She does like Ingev though. Luckily for us.  See you later," Marc said with a wave.

It had been a long and hard day for Lev. He finally made his way to his room, and began pulling off clothes the moment the door was closed. He headed straight for the shower and just stood under the water letting it help to ease the kinks and sore muscles.  He soaped up and was rinsing off when he noticed it. His tattoo, acquired so recently and with no choice in the matter was glowing softly. It wasn't hurting as it had done, it wasn't even hot to the touch, but he swore... Then he really swore. Then told himself it probably meant nothing at all.

He shut down the shower and stepped out, toweling off.  He headed to his closet and pulled out clean clothes. When he turned around he saw him. The cat was curled up on his pillow.

"Why are you here?" Lev asked, not expecting any answer. The damn cat told him nothing ever, ever since he'd first seen him.  With that thought, Lev turned and sat on the edge of the  bed.  "No, no way," he said to himself. "How.. No. I don't believe it."

He dressed and took a deep breath, looking back at the never-helpful Cele and headed towards the common room.  Cele hopped off the bed and followed him, his tail held high and swishing. 

Dia had unpacked, chatting to Salem while she sat on the dresser watching her put clothes away.  Laz had, apparently left the books where ever she'd be working.  She'd have to get Dinah to to show her where that was later.  When she'd finished she gave Salem a rub against her cheek and then followed the directions Marc had given her to the common room.  She scanned the room swiftly as she entered, a smile on her face that turned to a grin as Millie approached Salem to try again and got hissed at for her efforts at friendship.  "I'm sorry honey, she said to the puppy."

"Dia," Dinah said, coming over.  "Good, you found us.  It's simpler to find your way around than it seems and if you ever think you're lost just ask Aaru."

The puppy gave a happy bark when a new playmate came into the room. Cele stopped dead in the door way, looking down, or maybe up, his nose at the puppy. Dia turned to see what was going on and saw Lev standing in the doorway.

He stood there frozen, a look on his face she'd seen a time or two when they'd made love.

It was a look that made her stomach clench and then turn over.  From somewhere behind her a male voice she didn't recognize muttered, "Well so much for that idea."  She wondered vaguely what he meant as she stood there, paralyzed.  Then she felt Salem against her ankles and her wits re-engaged.  "Hullo," she heard herself say.

"Dia. I ... I had no idea you were coming," Lev managed suddenly finding that his legs still worked. He made his way into the room, all too aware of every eye on himself and Dia. "You look well."

"I'm sorry.  I didn't know you were here," she said, wondering why she suddenly felt guilty.  "Marc and Dinah asked me to help with some symbols."

Lev nodded. "Makes sense. You'll be a big help."

She took a step towards him and then stopped herself.  "You're sure, I mean this isn't a problem for you?" she asked, her voice low.

His eyes, which had been so hard a second ago, went very soft. "No. No, not at all. I .." he looked around at the full room and said, "No. Not at all."

She swallowed, searching his face, a thousand thoughts chasing each other across her face.   "Lev..." she said and then realized again they weren't alone. "Thank you," she said.

"Well, so everyone, this is Dia!" Marc said and did introductions even though it was pretty clear Dia wasn't listening all that well.  As for Lev, how he made it through the next few hours, and a meal, was remembering his years undercover and burying all emotions and personal thoughts and concentrating on being the personality he'd created for himself here on Aaru.

She watched him off and on through dinner, when she could, when someone else wasn't talking to her, asking her questions she answered automatically, when she thought maybe he wouldn't notice her looking.  He seemed thinner but maybe that was a trick of her memory.  And there seemed to be new lines, faint but there on his face but maybe that was the lighting.  She extended her senses slightly, unobtrusively towards him, trying to sense what he was feeling and then wrenched them back, appalled at her presumption.  After that she concentrated on the meal, on getting through it.  She concentrated on thinking about nothing but the social demands of the moment.

Marc finally took pity on the both of them and said, "Dia, would you like to see where you'll be working? I'm sure Colin and Melly will be delighted to show it to you."

She smiled gratefully and followed them from the room, listening to them chatter happily about what they were doing; chatter she ordinarily would have been enthralled with.  She played her part and escaped when she could, heading back to her room, Salem at her heels like an alter ego.  She managed to get there without getting lost and closed the door behind her, leaning against it, her eyes shut.  Then she flicked on a lamp, wishing for a window to look out of or a place outdoors where she could walk.  Instead she sank into the armchair and leaned her head back, willing herself calm so she could think.

There was a soft knock on her door about then. "Dia, it's Lev. If you'd rather I went away..." he let his voice trail off.

She went hot then cold in the time it took to reach the door.  "No," she said, opening it.  "Please.  Come in," she added, standing back so he could.

He came in, closing the door behind himself and leaned against it. "I.. I'm sorry I just left. I didn't want to put you in a bad position with your government."

She shook her head.  "I don't understand.  There's nothing...I don't understand."

He sighed. "I know you don't. When I Awakened, I was in the midst of a Mossad operation. Since to their eyes I just disappeared, my body not found with the bodies of my fellow agents, I was deemed to have been a coward at best, a traitor at worst. Someone from the embassy who came to see you got a good look at me, dug into the archives and ID'd me. They sent an assassin after me. I had to run.  Here's where I ended up."  He told it emotionlessly.

"And you thought," she said after a moment, "that knowing you would make trouble for me with Tel Aviv?  But why?"

"Actually I thought you might get hurt when they tried to kill me," he replied. "It was a risk I wasn't willing to take."

"I thought..." she began, hugging herself tight and then stopped, her mouth starting to tremble.  She tried again.  "I thought it was me, that something...I couldn't figure out what..."

"Oh, Dia. No, no it wasn't you. I'm sorry you thought that."

"Oh God," she said, her eyes closing for a instant.  "And now?" she asked when she opened them again.

"And now?" he asked. "I don't know. Do you?"

"I don't know what you want," she said.  "I don't think I've ever known."

He looked away, down at his feet. "I've never known. I've lived day to day for so long, I had no plans, no dreams. I was, quite possibly, the worst possible candidate to be an Awakened. Others appreciate the gifts. I've just accepted them as a new way of life I've had to learn."  He paused then looked back up at her. "You are so bright and forward looking. You want so much from life. You deserve it. Go get it. Don't let me hold you back."

"How do you hold me back?" she asked, absolutely bewildered.

"I guess I don't. That's good. I'll, uhm, have Marc let me off on some world."

"Why are you running from me?" she asked.  "Why?  What have I done?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "It just seems the right thing to do."

"But what makes it right?  Because it's what you want to do?"

Lev shrugged. "What is it you want?"

"You," she said, automatically, not having to think about it.  She said it matter of factly, like she couldn't understand how he needed to ask.

"I... You still care about me? Even after I disappeared?"

"Am I not supposed to?  I don't know about these things," she said.  "All I know is what I feel about you."

Lev sank down against the door. He put his head in his hands.

She was next to him before she knew how she got there, kneeling, her hands over his.  "Oh Lev, what's wrong?  Please.  Just tell me.  If it's me, I'll leave.  Truly," she said, tears welling and falling.  "I couldn't bear it if I hurt you."

"No," he managed. "You just take my breath away."

She started trembling, leaning back on her heels, waiting.

He looked up at her and met her eyes. "Dia. I have missed you."

She nodded, her eyes huge.  "Me too," she said.

He reached out tentatively to trace the curve of her cheek.

She leaned into his touch, smiling shyly. 

He reached around until he had hold of the back of her head and pulled her in until their lips touched. His kiss was hungry and demanding. And when she didn't pull away he pulled her whole body in closer to him and ran his other hand along the length of it as if trying to relearn her. 

She moaned into his mouth, her hands clutching his shoulders, praying he would never stop. 

"Love, let's go to bed."

She nodded, her face buried against his neck.  "Yes."

He'd asked Aaru to alert them when it was morning ship's time. He came awake to her softly beeping alarm. The room lights were coming up a tiny bit for them. He looked around, confused for a moment, thinking it must have been one helluva dream, but no, there she was, curled up like a little girl, sound asleep beside him.

He didn't touch her, not wanting to disturb her. He did roll over onto his back so he could stare at the ceiling and try to make sense of the hopelessly messed up thing that was his life. Love had never been much of a part of it. Mostly it had been just death and fear.  His desires had been for things other than love and happiness, at least for himself. They had been more about country and religion and his people. And his lot was to sacrifice, and forgo that which others desired.

After he'd Awakened, he'd mostly hid and searched for silence and peace. That didn't have all that much room for anyone else in his life. A few relationships had lasted more than a few weeks, but not many. He'd been too remote. Too cold. At least that's what they'd told him. So, how had all of that changed?

He drug his mind back to the present when he saw her move and her eyes flutter open.

She smiled, a tentative smile, uncertainty mixed with pleasure.  "I thought it was a dream."

He smiled at her. "I understand that confusion. I thought so too when I first awoke. Are you all right?"

She smiled more certainly, reaching out to touch him.  "Yes."

"Oh good. I'm very glad one of us is."

"You're not?" she asked with ready concern.

"It's... I'm just pretty confused. It's not you. It's me. I'll deal with it."

"I understand confusion," she said.  "I'm confused.  What are you confused about?"

"Us. I'm confused about us. I'm confused about what I'm feeling. I'm afraid it's just lust and if it is.. then I should ... then I'm truly damned."

She looked in his eyes for a long, silent moment.  "I think," she said finally, slowly, "that if it were, the things that worry you about me wouldn't worry you."

He managed a smile. "My conscience would be clear?"

"I don't know.  Why shouldn't it be?  Have you lied to me?"

"There are worse things than lying."

"Have you done them?"

"Yes."

"To me?"

He gave it some thought. "No, I don't think so. I believe I'd remember it if I did."

"Let the past go," she said.  "Worry about now."

"You'll get along well with Anja."

She shifted so she could sit up, where she could see his face.  "If you were an evil man you wouldn't have the demons you fight.  That's what makes evil ordinary.  It has no qualms.  If what is between us is lust it is a lust tied up with caring, packed in a box made of respect and wrapped with honesty.  How is that a thing to blame yourself for?"

He nodded. "I hope you're right. I'm just a bit more cynical than you, Dia. And I know myself better than you know me."

"You are like Marc and Ian.  You think because of the things you have done you are somehow tainted, unworthy of love or caring or happiness, that you will only bring sorrow into the lives of others.  So you struggle to push away what is offered to you because you think you will somehow taint what you care about.  Instead what you do, if you can be convinced to stand still long enough, is to kill yourself protecting those things and the people who bring them into your life from what you see as the defects within yourself.  Thus, in the end, you become more of what you imagine you aren't, what you were to start with, because you care so much and fight so hard, not for your sake but theirs."  She ran her thumb over his lips, smiling at him.  "But you will never see that."

"Do you always lecture your lovers after a night of fabulous sex?" His lips twitched with amusement.

"Only if I'm hoping for more before breakfast."

He obliged her.