Betty Jo looked around the room that Ian had given her as a sort of office.  Sunny and bright, looking out over the garden it had a cozy feeling to it that she liked and knew was a product of Edwards efforts.  The computer was already set up, there were bookcases for the books she planned to bring back from the brownstone, a chintz covered sofa and matching arm chair angled towards the fireplace.  The tables gleamed, polished to a high sheen and held fresh flowers.  All Edwards as were all the other small details that told her he'd worked hard to make it perfect for her.  She turned to him where he stood in the doorway, nodding.  "It's wonderful Edwards, truly the loveliest room.  Thank you."

Edwards blushed his pleasure. "I'm relieved you find it so.  Lord Avery suggested the room. It has lovely afternoon sunlight, and the fireplace of course, and the doors to the garden. And Lord Avery's snuggery is right next door should you need him. Is the Lady Desk large enough, or would you prefer a full size desk?"

She ran a hand along the surface of the wood, and the inlaid leather writing surface.  "It's beautiful, Edwards and just what I need for now."  She smiled at him.  "Do you have a few moments?  There's something I'm hoping you can help me with."

"Of course, Ms DuBois. What can I help you with?"

She waved to the sofa.  "Can we sit down, do you think?" she asked, sitting down in the arm chair. 

"Of course, if you so wish," Edwards said, swallowing and sinking down onto the sofa as if he thought it might disappear when his butt hit the seat.  Once he was seated he waited, swallowing again.

She smiled at him, reassuring and friendly.  "Ruth spoke with me this morning and it seems she is needed at home.  Her father is getting on and is rather frail and needs someone to look after him.  And of course she had only agreed to take the position temporarily because Lord and Lady Sutcliffe asked her to."

Edwards seemed to dare to breathe again. "Yes, ma'am. She's spoken of her family at dinner, so I'm not entirely surprised. She's a very responsible sort of daughter."

Betty Jo agreed.  "Yes she is, and I'm sorry to hear she is leaving.  The thing is, I'm spoilt now, after having her help these last weeks.  So I was wondering if you would be willing to help me find someone new."

"After I failed you so terribly with Collins... I'm just... " Edwards fell silent looking down at his hands.

"Well, I don't think you failed me, Edwards.  And I have every confidence in your experience and instincts.  In fact, I don't see how you could have known.  Her references were impeccable, the agency that referred her is well reputed and she seemed to be perfect."

"Perhaps we can make sure that Lord Avery's security people vet anyone we see this time?" Edwards suggested hopefully.

"I'm certain we can.  I'd be surprised if his lordship didn't insist," she said with a smile. "So do you think you'd be able to help?  I know it's a great deal of work, interviewing candidates and such.  But you have so much more experience than I in this area and are much more familiar with how these things are done."

"If you can see your way to trust me with it, I'm certain I can at least do the first interviews for the candidates and then introduce to you the ones I think most suited for the position, if you'll allow me that much latitude. I'd need a better understanding, however, of what sort of skills you'd like in your... personal assistant? I'm not even certain what we might call this person."

"That is probably as good a title as any I've thought of.  Ideally she'd be able to handle most anything I need her to, very much like you do for his lordship.  Everything from shopping and running errands to handling the sorts of things a maid would, like taking care of my wardrobe.  So she would need a rather flexible understanding of her duties.  And, while I think we are fixed here in the country for some time to come, she would need to be able to work either here or in London, or to travel with me if that should occur."  She grinned.  "I am sorry it's somewhat vague, but I'm feeling my way here and expect that her duties would evolve somewhat over time.  A clone of you would be perfect, if that helps."

Edwards blushed with pleasure again, as he reached into his jacket pocket and extracted a small notebook, in which he jotted down a few particulars.  "Have you a preference on age, miss? Someone young, or more seasoned?  Are there particular things you admire you'd like to see in her?"

"Well, intelligent, personable, those sorts of things.  I've no preference as to age.  More important will be that she is flexible and adaptable, don't you think?  And a sense of humor?  Works well independently and isn't afraid to take initiative if needed?" she said.

"Yes, miss, all excellent qualities. I'll have a chat with the agency and, if you don't mind, perhaps mention it round town as well. Perhaps someone local would like the opportunity? Of course I'll alert the security people to vet whoever we interview as well."

"A local person would be excellent I think.  Thank you Edwards, this is exactly why I'm quite depending on you," she said, smiling at him.

"Is that all, Miss? I'll get to it as soon as I may."

She stood and restrained the impulse to shake his hand.  "Thank you Edwards.  That is indeed all I've got to burden you with."

"Oh, Ms DuBois. I assure you it is no burden at all, but a pleasure. Ring if you need anything," he added, and hurried away still making notes.

She nodded and followed him out of the room, ready to accomplish the next task on her agenda.  She knocked on the door to Ian's study.  When he answered she opened the door, the smile she kept for him alone on her face.  Taking in the other, unknown, occupant, she changed her hello to an apology.  "I'm sorry, I didn't realize you're busy.  I'll come back later."

Ian stood as did his visitor. "No, please. Come in. I was actually talking to Lev here about the position as your personal security. Laz recommended him."

She studied him, making no attempt to hide her scrutiny.  "So you're a friend of Laz's?" she said, extending her hand.  "I'm Betty Jo DuBois."

"Lev Nazarov," he replied taking her hand and shaking it once firmly. "A colleague more like.  I've done some work with him."

"Ah," she said, glancing at Ian.  "I see.  I won't ask then."

"He has. I pointed out that you would be a problem for anyone taking on the position. Especially in light of your own training."

"A problem?  How so?  Trying to help?"

Lev took his seat as Betty Jo took a seat. Ian raised an eyebrow and sat behind his desk watching the two of them.

"Your reflex actions will be different from most people who require personal security. You are aware of how to fight, and you've used weapons. Your first instinct will be to protect yourself, not rely on me - or on whoever else might take the job. It is a problem. Not an insurmountable one, but a problem that would have to be resolved."

"And how would you recommend resolving it?" she asked.

He frowned. "If I had the job I'd insist on working out with you, and then perhaps using something like your law enforcement training school grounds for testing scenarios so that we could learn to work together rather than at cross-purposes. I have little expectation that you would simply zap yourself to safety unless the circumstances were most dire, although it would be my ideal of any situation."

"Mine too," Ian commented. "but I suspect you're right, Lev."

She smiled at Ian.  "Incentive?"  Then she sobered and turned back to Lev.  "I've no objection to working out together.  Before I moved I was studying t'ai chi -- qigong, mostly -- and yoga.  One of the items on my current to do list is to start both again; focusing more on the Wu school for the t'ai chi, though finding a teacher may be difficult here."

His lips twitched. "Zapping to London is easy enough. I know of several very good dojos there with excellent martial arts instructors. I could find you one in Washington DC if you'd prefer."

She nodded.  "I'm open to either actually.  So why are you interested in the job?"

He cocked his head at her. "I'm not certain yet."

Her lips twitched.  "I'm sorry.  My over-active ego got the better of me there for a moment.  I assumed the interest as a given."

He smiled, obviously holding back a laugh. "It's a fair question. Laz assured me this would be a challenge, if for no other reason that it is you. I bore easily, and have little interest in protecting some boring executive or politician.  How do you feel about having someone know your every move?"

"I don't know yet," she said.  "When I do I'll tell you."  She renewed her scrutiny of him for a moment, leaning back in her chair.  "I'm not at all sure I won't be even more boring than a politician or executive.  I am hoping for a very quiet life."

"Punctuated with workouts that sound most intriguing if nothing else. I personally prefer a quiet life. Quiet is not necessarily boring."

"Indeed.  And," she said, gesturing to the room, "there's always reading if quietness palls."  She paused again before obviously making up her mind. "Tell me something.  It's me you'd be protecting, but his lordship who'd be paying you.  Would that be a conflict for you?"

"No. Is it for you?"

"Now why would it be one for me?"

"You've been an independent woman, self-sufficient, professional. Paying your own bills, going your own way, making your own decisions. Some might find it hard to accept things, even when they are offered with love."

"And some might not when accepted with love."

"True. And whoever pays my salary, my job would be to keep you safe as I can make you, in whatever way I can manage it. If Lord Avery here decided instead I should be your keeper, I assure you I'd be walking out the door. I will only accept the job, if it is offered, if I am here to ease your concerns, and his, that when you aren't with him you will have someone with you who knows how to handle himself and you.  It wouldn't be my business where you go or when you go, only that I am responsible for keeping you safe on the occasions you do leave home without him. Where we go, what we do is your business, not his. And it wouldn't be my job to report any of it. That's between the two of you."

"It is indeed," she said, unperturbed. "I understand why Laz recommended you for the job Mr. Nazarov."  She glanced at Ian again.  "I appreciate your candor.  Is there anything I can tell you?"

"Are you having flashbacks?  I only ask in that they can create problems not necessarily inherent in a situation."  He paused, then added, "I'm sorry; it is rather personal, but would be something that would affect the job."

"It's a valid question," she said.  "And no, I'm not. Or at least I haven't had one since a few days afterwards and that was the only one.  It was triggered by something that I can't even imagine happening while in your care."

Lev nodded. "Fair enough. I'm not the easiest man in the world to confide in, but to do this job I'd have to trust that you would tell me things which might be ... unsettling. I wouldn't expect that level of trust to spring full-blown overnight, but if you think such a relationship would be impossible, then I shouldn't waste any more of Lord Avery's time."

She tilted her head slightly, considering him.  "No, I don't think it would be impossible.  And working out together would certainly facilitate that."

Lev nodded, satisfied. "Have you anything else for me, Lord Avery?"

"I might want you to meet with Betty Jo privately before I decide. Before WE decide."

Lev nodded. "You've got my cell phone. Let me know."  Lev stood and shook hands with Ian. Then he turned to Betty Jo. "I wish you a long, happy and quiet life, Miss Dubois."

"And I you Mr. Nazarov," she said.

With a nod of good-bye Lev Nazarov winked out. Ian came out from behind his desk and sat on the arm of the chair beside Betty Jo. "What do you think?  He's candid, if nothing else."

"Yes he is." she agreed.  "And has an air of ruthless competence that you must find very reassuring."

Ian grinned. "You know me too well already. But you're the one he's going to be tagging along with. The idea is to make you feel more comfortable and feel safe. If he won't do that any reassurance he gives me is moot."

She laughed.  "I wasn't aware that was the primary point."  She took his hand and pressed a kiss into his palm.  "I'm certainly willing to give him a try.  In fact, I came in to talk to you about your plans for going up to town since there's some shopping and things I feel compelled to do.  It might be a good opportunity to see how it goes."

"All right. I'll give him a call and arrange for you two to have a trial of each other. I do need to go up to London in a few days. Will you need to stay overnight do you think?"

"Maybe," she said grinning at him.   "Depends on how the shopping goes.  Would you like to?  We could actually go out together, do something utterly frivolous."

"Hmmm. We could go out to dinner. Maybe take in a show. It would be lovely if you feel up to it."

"I do indeed, darling.  And up to whatever else might happen afterwards."  His grin was his answer.

Several days later Ian and Betty Jo zapped themselves to the London house on New Park Lane. Edwards and Ruth who was staying until a new person was hired for Betty Jo had gone up beforehand to air the place out and make sure it was up to snuff. The maids, women who lived out and did for the place whenever Ian was in town, had already been and the place was neat and spotless and fresh flowers were in the hallway and in the drawing room and bedroom.

Lev was there too, having agreed to a trial period with Betty Jo. Edwards was a bit intimidated by Lev, but he'd never admit it openly. Still, Lev represented a set of skills Edwards had always found a bit unsettling, despite some of the things he'd seen with Lord Avery over the years.

Hermione would be coming by the next day and Ian had several meetings at the Rose and Cross planned while he was in town, but his nights would be reserved for Betty Jo, and they had reservations for dinners and for shows.

They zapped in fairly early, right after breakfast in the country. Ian looked around at the place and frowned.  "I suppose we should think about redecorating here soon too."

"Now what brought that on?" she asked.  "It's usually the woman who says that, as the opening volley in an extended campaign to attain the agreement of the man."

"Really?" he asked. "I was thinking it looked awfully masculine here and that you might like something a bit... lighter."

She put her arms around him, smiling.  "Thank you.  For thinking of it, for making it 'we' and for loving me."

"It's a trial, but I shall persevere."

She laughed and kissed him.  "I shall do my best to make it less painful.  And I'll even give some thought to redecorating here.  Anything else I can do for you?"

"Enjoy your outing today and I'll see you this evening."

"I'm looking forward to it," she said and kissed him again.  Ten minutes later she and Lev were getting into a cab.  She gave the driver an address on Harley Street and settled back against the seat.  "Thanks for agreeing to the trial," she said to Lev.  "I'll endeavor to make it as true to form as possible," she added, her lips not quite straight.

"Not to worry, I shall persevere," he replied his own lips twitching. "By the way, I've found a dojo that has a Wu master. They're pretty rare you realize. He wants to meet you."

"You know, that's exactly what Ian said to me just a little while ago," she replied, shaking her head.  "Where's the dojo?"

"Bayswater. I'll set up an appointment for you if you like."

"Thank you, I'd appreciate it if you did." She shifted a bit in her seat to have a better view of his face.  "The morning is doctors and the afternoon is shopping," she said.  "Nothing exciting, or so I hope."

"No problem. I've got a book with me.  I'll stay in the waiting area, or outside if you'd prefer. Would you mind wearing an earpiece?  At least until we get better at mental communication. I'd feel better if I could let you know if anything untoward is going on outside while you're in there."

"I don't mind the ear piece or if you want to wait inside.  That's up to you," she said as the taxi turned onto Harley Street.  "Especially since I've no idea how long I'll be."

"Right," he said handing her a very small earpiece which she slipped in with expert assurance.  "Test?" he said softly. She nodded. "Right," he said then. "Standard procedure then. I'll come inside with you, do a quick eyes on of entrances and such and folks there, then go outside for a 'smoke' and do a quick recce around the building. The rest of the time I'll be in the waiting room pretending to be intent on my novel. Shout in my head if anything goes weird, and I'll zap in wherever. Otherwise, I'll try to be patient. I'm looking forward to the shopping."

"Got it.  And all things considered I am too," she said as the taxi slid to a stop and she dug money out of her bag. 

She studied the directory in the lobby and then led the way to the lift, getting off on the fourth floor, stepping directly into the waiting area of the doctor's office.  The brass lettering on the wall announced that this was the office of Dr. Jason Tregarth.  The letters after his name, combined with the denizens of the waiting area offered strong clues that Dr. Tregarth's practice involved pregnant women.  The ambiance and the clientele made it plain he wasn't reliant on the National Health for his income. 

Betty Jo left Lev to do his job and checked in with the receptionist, receiving a sheaf of paperwork to complete in return.  She was still working on it when Lev returned from his 'smoke'.  She was handing it back when the nurse called her name.  The next twenty minutes went as she expected.  Then the nurse left to her to undress and promised the doctor would be with her in a few moments.  She grimaced and put on the paper gown and booties, then made herself comfortable to wait.

Since he was a specialist and his clientele for regular OB/GYN services were the talented, he could be fussy. And on time. He walked in not long after the promised few minutes, his nose buried in her paperwork. "Ms DuBois. I'm sorry to see it reads here that you've recently had a severe injury. Can you tell me about it? And how you've been since."

She'd practiced it in her head a number of times since making the appointment.  Tsura had assured her he'd understand about the healers at the Refuge.  So she took him through it, leaving nothing out.  Then she drew in a breath and let it out, saying in a voice she fought to keep emotionless. "They tried, repairing...regenerating what they could, but they couldn't tell me if they were successful...if...if I'll be able to have children."

"Ah, I see. Well, we'll need to run tests then, take some x-rays, probably a sonogram. We've all the facilities right here, if you have the time to do it now. I'll take a look, consult with a few healers I know, and should have a reply for you in a week or two.  And hopefully a plan to go from there. If that suits?"

She nodded.  "My time is yours," she promised. 

"Try not to worry. Severe trauma has a way of repairing itself in the talented. It might take awhile but we'll follow it up and see where we are.  Rest right here. There's someone with you?  Should I have someone tell him you'll be awhile?"

"That would be kind of you, thank you," she said and almost expected him to pat her head as he bestowed a benevolent smile on her before leaving, promising to send the nurse right in.  After that is was mechanical, the blood draw, the urine, the x-rays, and sonogram and all the rest of it.  When the nurse finally told her she could get dressed she was parched and demoralized.  She looked in the mirror, checking her appearance and the quality of the smile on her face.  Then she walked out to the waiting room where the receptionist took her money and told her a taxi would be waiting downstairs.  She smiled and looked around for Lev.  He was sitting off to the side, where he could see the doors, a paperback in hand.  "Ready to get out of here?" she asked.

"From the look of you, you could use lunch and a drink."  He got up to walk beside her and hold the door for her. Indulgent smiles on the faces of the other women in the place indicated they mistook him for something quite different.

He held the door for the taxi and then slid in beside her.  He looked at her for directions.

"Lunch and a drink.  You have any suggestions?"

"I do," he said and then gave the taxi driver directions.  "Nice quiet place.  Good lunch, strong drinks."

"Thanks.  I'm from out of town."

The taxi dropped them on a side street not too far from Harrods. The restaurant was in one of those not very impressive older buildings that lined so many of London's streets. It was not exactly full to overflowing, but it was well-attended.  "Two?" the maitre-d asked.

"Yes," Lev said and put a firm hand on the small of Betty Jo's back and guided her, perhaps with a bit of psi as well, to a table, where he sat her down and then sat across from her.  "No need to tell me what's wrong. What would you like to drink?"

"Tea, I think, to start with, and a glass of water.  Mostly I feel like I just spent a week in the desert on short rations."  She settled in the chair and then looked at him.  "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Tea? You're sure?"

She laughed.  "Yes.  It's remarkably reviving I've found.  After that, I'll probably have something else.  But if I have a drink now, you'll have to carry me out of here.  Hardly the best impression to make on the first day, I think."

"Oh, I don't know. I confess I thought you were going to be rather stuffy."  He waved for a waitress who when she came took the order for two teas.

"Stuffy?" she asked, stunned.  "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"You're very .. contained. At least around Lord Avery."

"Ah, I see."  She pondered it a while in silence.  "Yes, I suppose I am, when we're in public.  I'd never really thought about it before."  Then she laughed.  "Wait'll you see me with my sisters."

He smiled. "I look forward to that. Feeling a little better?" he asked as she took a sip of tea.

She nodded.  "Nothing like it.  It's no wonder the Brits are addicted."

"It is rather an odd addiction, don't you think?  Not a bad one, mind you, but still a bit odd."

"No odder than some I can think of," she said.  "I suppose it's the caffeine like in coffee or cola that's the real addiction."  She took another drink, much less dainty than the last and set the cup down again. "I keep having this urge to ask you questions and then thinking I shouldn't pry."

He shrugged. "Feel free to ask, just don't be offended if I choose not to answer. How's that?"

"That's fair I suppose.  They aren't earth shattering things, more like where you're from and what you did before you did this.  Where home is."

"From... that's an interesting question for an Awakened. I was born in Russia. A Russian Jew. We moved to Israel when it was first formed. I fought for it. As to where home is, it's whatever port I put in to."

"And for now it's berthed here," she said.  She tilted her head, putting the pieces of what he'd said in place, filling in the history that added others.  "And how did you meet Laz?"

He was running an op and I blundered into it. I'd, well, you know about Home?"  At her nod, he said, "I hated it there and took off. Was keeping a low profile down here and at first I thought he and his people were after me. Egotistical, that's me. We managed not to kill one another."

She laughed.  "That sounds like Laszlo and Paul."  She waited while the waitress to their orders, including something other than tea.  "So are you comfortable at the townhouse?  Edwards is a bit intimidated, though he'd die before letting you know."

"Is he? I'm sorry about that. I'll try to be a bit less... intense. I sometimes forget myself and don't remember I'm with gentle people."

The evening had been wonderful. A show and then a late dinner out. They'd walked along Piccadilly, enjoying the ambiance of a London evening. And now, having talked about it all, they were lying in each others arms.

"Will you tell me what's bothering you, or is it none of my business?" he finally asked after a silence she hadn't even been aware of.

Her hand, moving absently on his arm stilled; her eyes met his, startled.  Then she smiled, a wry smile.  "I should know by now," she said, "how perceptive you are."

"Not normally. But with you... You don't have to tell me."

"It's not a secret," she said.  "It's just that I don't know anything and I was waiting until I did."  She sighed.  "I saw a doctor this morning, one Tsura knew of who treats talented, so he understood about healing."  She stopped for a moment, searching for words.  "A gynecologist.  To find out if...I mean I know they tried, but they didn't know and I need to know if...if there's any possibility...of children."

He let out a long sigh. "Ah. And children are... are .. I'm so sorry."

"I don't know yet," she said.  "He did a lot of tests, x-rays and things.  He said it would be a week or two before he knows anything.  And I don't like waiting though I expected it."

He pulled her closer in to him, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. He kissed the top of her head.  He couldn't think of one word to say.

She pressed closer, seeking his warmth, the comfort he offered wordlessly.  She basked in it, a balm that soothed the aching wound of it.  It wasn't something they'd talked about, nor was the child she'd lost.  It was a grief that deserved it's own time and space, to be borne separately and not bundled in with all the rest of it.  But the ambivalence had never been sorted out, not hers anyway.  And complicating it all was that he had never been anything other clear about where he stood on the idea of children.  She sighed and stroked his back, her cheek resting on his chest.

He kissed the top of her head. "I haven't said anything because.. well, when I learned you'd been pregnant... I hadn't known so it was a shock, as I'm sure it was to you as well. I'm still not certain how I feel about it. It's all mixed up, in my grief and anger over what was done to you. Poor child. I can't even mourn for it."

"I know," she whispered.  "But I need to sort it out now, I think.  At least as much as it can be.  Only it wasn't even really real yet.  Now it's gone and I need to know what I've lost, what I need mourn."

"That's the thing. It wasn't real. It was only a potential. The merest hint of something, of something that could be. Might be.  But it opened up whole vistas I'd .. we'd never considered yet."

"I've got this feeling of being robbed.  Of having had something stolen from me."  She shifted against him, fitting her self better to the curves and angles of his body.  "And it lingers in a way none of the rest of it does."

"You want children."

"Yes," she said.  "So I need to know.   It's one thing to have the option taken away by accident, or to decide as I may have done someday that you mattered more to me than having children of my own did.  But this isn't either of those things."

He reached down to push a blonde curl off her forehead. "And you think you need to choose between me and having children?"

"I think the time might come when that might happen.  You've always been clear about what you felt you could offer me and what you couldn't," she said. 

"Have I? I can't remember. Or perhaps my thoughts have gotten muddled where you're concerned."

"On at least two occasions that I recall, you said that marriage and children were not things you could offer me, at least not now and maybe never, and that you thought I deserved someone who could.  So what does muddled mean?  Approaching senility?"

"Flown past sanity and on the far side of beyond, I expect. At the time I could barely picture myself living with anyone, particularly not you."

She smiled.  "And now?  Is the picture clearer?"

"Well, I'm well and away beyond one hurdle at any rate. And the world hasn't ended. Who knows what others I might take in stride.  If you ... I won't say I wasn't surprised when you told me. But .. it got me thinking.  I'm still thinking."

"Ah," she said, smiling again.  "And you'll keep me posted?"

"I expect you'll be the first to know of any decisions I might manage to make before my head explodes."

She laughed softly.  "I doubt it will come to that, darling.  But if you think it's imminent, let me know and I'll distract you."

"Hmmm. Promises promises. Care to practice your technique?"

"Until you think I've got it perfect," she said, moving against him, her hands drifting over his back and down his hip, and then upward, combing the hair that curled there, her nails lightly scratching.  "Of course, you'll need to help me reach such a state.

"I'll give you a full debrief afterward, how's that?" he asked as one hand drifted over her breast and the other wrapped itself in her hair.

"And pointers along the way," she said, as he kissed her.

The pointers, she decided afterward, were worth remembering.